We know that the best predictor of human happiness is human relationships and the amount of time that people spend with family and friends. We know that it’s significantly more important than money and somewhat more important than health. –Daniel Gilbert

The fundamental source of happiness eludes many common presumptions, and the various sources we’ve previously reviewed failed to point out who exactly is happy, yet Daniel Gilbert did give us a pretty good predictor. Is that all we have to go on, a predictor that relationships are the key factor? Luckily, no, as psychological research did not let us down when the modern-day survey came to the rescue.

Surveys could not zero in on happy people by their age, sex, or financial status because happy people are found across every age group and gender and are in every country and at every level of the socio-economic ladder. Instead of the typical demographics, researchers have discovered a group of personal traits that are the common thread between the happy members among us. Dozens of studies have determined that happy people share a few particular traits—the four most important being self-esteem, optimism, extraversion, and autonomy.

According to Angus Campbell’s empirical evidence in The Sense of Well-Being in America, happy people have high self-esteem, are encouraged by their own potential, and genuinely like themselves. Not only do they recognize their own potential and good personal characteristics, but they also believe others see them as well. People with high self-esteem feel that they are more ethical, healthier, smarter, happier, and generally nicer than the average person is, and by subconsciously telling themselves these things, they create an atmosphere that encourages personal growth in all of these areas. Happy people also consciously remove their personal fears by taking action and not letting self-doubt muddle their chances.

Happy people are optimists: they always try to see the glass as half-full. Not only do they think positively when things are going well, but they even stay positive when their situation is considerably worse off than expected. Happy people expect that they will succeed when they undertake new ventures, and that mindset frees them from strong senses of self-doubt and fear. Their optimism removes mental barriers and un-cages their self-esteem allowing it to grow as they focus on the good in the things they do. Instead of excusing what others would claim as failure, they look for the good in every event.

These optimistic people also tend to enjoy the company of others since they highly value their social relationships. Relationships with others allow happy people to share positive thoughts and quickly shed negative or distressing emotions. Not only do happy people like to spread their optimism and attitude, they like to receive support from others too.
Most importantly, happy people feel autonomous on their journey through life. They generally feel a greater degree of control over the things they do. They feel empowered, and that allows them to perform better, cope with stress better, and reach for the things most fulfilling to themselves. People that do not feel autonomous in their lives—the severely impoverished, those that are immobilized and secluded, and people in rigid, highly-restrictive cultures—suffer by giving up on their aspirations and ultimately on their happiness.

Happiness is a matter of mixing the right traits. If you review what you thought were the sources of your happiness, you should see the line between the things that appear to make you happy (perhaps an award or a hobby) and the actual internal source, which is reflected in it (self-esteem or autonomy). If you are suffering depression or unhappiness, perhaps you have a strong deficiency in one or more of those four traits. Monitor your thought patterns and shape them by actively saying and doing positive things. Look for value in the things that you do, see potential in the situations that you face, associate with others that desire to do good things, and embrace your autonomous self by chasing your dreams.